Second Chances
by Dis-Moi
Summary: Caroline strikes up a new friendship with a student's mother. While trying to help her through an all too familiar marital breakup, the friend reciprocates by helping Caroline focus on getting a second chance at happiness with Kate. The characters are not mine, they are just gratefully borrowed from Sally Wainwright, the BBC and Red Productions. No copyright infringement intended.
1. Chapter 1

Caroline walked into her empty house, hung her coat on its hook and turned on all the lights on the way into her kitchen. It was spotless, as usual, since Lawrence was off at his father's for a couple of days. She missed the mess when he wasn't home. An opened bottle of her current favorite red wine was waiting on the counter. She grabbed it by the neck and poured a healthy glass before plating some cheese and crackers for her dinner and wondered what take-away Lawrence convinced John to let him have for dinner.

She settled into the family room to eat in front of University Challenge, her now nightly ritual when alone. Halfway through her program, she found her thoughts drifting back to her last meeting of the week.

As she greeted the Dixons in her outer office, she told Beverly she could leave and to enjoy her weekend. She watched them take their seats and noticed Mr. Dixon check his watch. It was later than she usually met with parents but the last minute meeting was hastily scheduled.

Caroline had always enjoyed her exchanges with the Dixons over the years at school functions. They were good supporters of Sulgrave and their son, Seb, was one of the top ten students in his form, as was their daughter, Willow, two years before. It always impressed her that Willow was admitted to the Sorbonne. She didn't know Mrs. Dixon very well but the school came to rely on her handling the ticket sales for the school shows when her children were in the cast. Mr. Dixon, who had a high position in a regional bank, often helped with the sets. She liked that they were involved in their children's interests, which was why she arranged their meeting.

"Thank you for coming in Mr. and Mrs. Dixon. I'm sorry to do this to you on a Friday night but I felt a conversation about your son was long overdue. He's one of our best students but lately we've had some behavioral issues with him that I'd like to nip in the bud," the tired headmistress began.

"We were stunned to get your call about him. We'd like to hear what is really going on," Mr. Dixon responded.

"We've noticed that he is not interacting well with some of the students in our LGBT support group. He's been overheard making some inappropriate statements and I wanted to have a chat before things go too far and a student or a teacher files a formal complaint. I'd hate to see a student with such promise have any blemish on his record," she explained.

Caroline sat quietly for a few minutes to let the information sink in and to give them time to respond. Although they were thankful she cared enough to handle the situation in an informal manner, both parents instantly shifted uncomfortably in their seats. She noticed Mrs. Dixon was staring at the floor and Mr. Dixon was suddenly red in the face, looking as though his head was about to explode.

Mrs. Dixon spoke first. "That's disappointing and unacceptable. We'll work with him to make sure he understands the sensitivity of it all and to make sure it doesn't happen again. I'm so sorry."

"It's not that simple Portia. You know he's lashing out," Mr. Dixon barked at her.

"He's just following your lead Clark. I told you he would take his cues from you," she replied as she reached into her purse for a tissue. Realizing what she was looking for without success, Caroline handed her a box of tissues.

"Thank you. I'm sorry Dr. Elliot. You don't need us to hash this out in front of you but I'm very grateful that you care enough to bring it to our attention."

"Portia's right. We'll talk with him. Can you tell me how many instances there have been?"

"Well, that student group meets weekly and for the past three weeks he's teased some kids as they have been leaving the meetings," she explained.

"There you go Portia. That matches the timeline. I told you he wasn't taking it as well as you thought," he snapped.

"It seems as though I've treaded on a land mine," Caroline said to try to diffuse the growing tension between the parents. "Without meaning to get personal, is there anything I can do to help?"

Mr. Dixon glared at his spouse. She took another tissue from the box, dabbed at her eyes and then quietly began, "Well, it's just that we decided to end our marriage about a month ago. Shortly after Clark told me he wanted out, I was being consoled by my cousin, Cathy. Seb walked in and misconstrued what he heard and thinks the break up is my fault. You see, Cathy is gay and she was joking with me that I should switch teams."

"That's a very sanitized version of events there Portia," Clark snarled. "Actually, he heard you two talking about Gretchen. At least we know why he might be lashing out at those students."

Caroline could tell that Clark was very uncomfortable discussing such personal details in public and she realized he too was lashing out at his wife but she could not tell why exactly since Mrs. Dixon said he was the one who wanted out of the marriage.

"I'm very sorry to hear your news and I thank you for sharing with me what you have. As I said, I wanted us to have a private chat about Seb and I assure you that I will keep this to myself." Caroline noticed how relieved the Dixons looked. "I was hoping you would talk with him about his recent behavior. If there are no more incidents, I assure you this will not be mentioned again. Perhaps you might want to suggest to him that he join the student group. Many of the kids aren't gay but have family members who are and they have joined to be advocates and show their support of their family members."

"Thank you Dr. Elliot. I assure you that Seb will not cause any further problems. I've got to run to a dinner meeting. Portia, we can talk about this tomorrow," Clark said as he stood to leave.

As soon as he was out the door, Portia said, "Dinner meeting my ass. He's off to see his girlfriend. But Seb adores him so I'm the one he blames."

"Sadly, I've been there. When my marriage ended, my youngest blamed me and tried like crazy to get us back together. It's been tough but I think he's starting to understand. Just give it some time Mrs. Dixon."

"I'm so tired of that name. Please call me Portia."

"Only if you call me Caroline."

"Well, I've kept you from your weekend long enough, Caroline. Thank you again for your discretion."

"You've done no such thing. I'm sorry to hear your news. If you ever need a sympathetic ear from someone who's been where you are, just call."

* * *

A couple of weeks later, Caroline spotted Portia working the ticket sales at the school play. She walked over to say hello and received a wide smile. She noticed Portia looked thinner and tired.

"It's good to see you Caroline. How's Seb doing?"

"He seems back to himself. The better question is how are you?"

"Finding my new normal I guess."

"My offer still stands. If you need someone to talk with just let me know."

"Actually, how about a drink after the show? Seb is going to a fellow cast member's tonight and I dread going back to an empty house." Caroline remembered that feeling.

"How about we meet at Lucia's Wine Bar and Grille? I'll call for a table and put it under my name. I skipped lunch today so maybe we can grab a bite as well as a drink."

"I haven't been there in ages. Great. See you there after the show."

* * *

They pulled into the car park at about the same time and caught up with each other just inside the door. Caroline felt a little awkward about the invitation as she watched the show but by the time the curtain fell she was glad to have something to do other than go home to an empty house.

"Thanks for taking me up on the invite. I can't remember the last time I was out this late," Portia began as they looked at the menu.

"I'm sure my cat is wondering where I am as I'm usually not out this late either," Caroline responded with a chuckle.

"Hmmm. I was thinking about getting a cat but then I was afraid I'd not stop at one and people would begin to talk," Portia quipped.

The waitress appeared and took their order. They agreed upon a couple of personal sized pizzas to share and a bottle of a sangiovese. As they handed the menus back to the server, Caroline decided to venture into the personal. "All kidding aside, are things that bad?"

"It's not been a cake walk. Clark has moved on, Seb seems to be in such denial and I'm left trying to pick up the pieces."

"I'm so sorry. I remember those days. Does Clark give him mixed signals about your marriage being over?"

Portia nodded her head and started playing with her water glass. "He refuses to move out even though he spends several nights a week with his girlfriend so yes, I'd say the signals are mixed."

The waitress returned with their wine. They clinked glasses as Caroline said, "here's to do overs."

After a few more sips and an awkward pause, Caroline continued. "John did the same thing to me. If I learned one thing I could pass on to you it's that you have to remember you have needs and feelings too. What are you doing for yourself?"

"Aside from going to the gym while Seb's at school, nothing. There's been no time. Most nights I'm just trying to make sure his life is as normal as it can be; I'd hate to see our upheaval affect his studies. If it weren't for working out I'd probably have gone mad by now." Suddenly Caroline understood why Portia always seemed to be wearing workout clothes when she is at the school to pick up or drop off Seb.

"How's your daughter taking it?"

"Willow hasn't been home since before Clark's little announcement so I don't think she fully comprehends the finality of it all. We've had our issues in the past but always managed to keep the marriage together. This time, there's no going back for me. I think she expects us to work through it as we've always done."

"Will she be supportive of you?"

"Yes. She's always taken my part in the past when we've had our flare-ups. That's probably why Clark's been trying to get Seb's sympathies." Portia paused to take a long sip of her wine. "Willow and I had a rather difficult conversation about my college days and Clark's misguided allegations but she seems to have handled it in stride. I think her love of Kate McKenzie made her more comfortable with the subject matter than she might have been otherwise."

Caroline shifted uncomfortably in her seat at the mention of Kate's name. She didn't know if Portia knew about their relationship and she wanted to tread lightly. "I remember Kate saying Willow was one of her favorite students."

"I don't think Willow would have gotten into the Sorbonne without her help."

Caroline took a sip of her wine and carefully placed her glass back on the cocktail napkin. "Kate is a great teacher but Willow's very clever. Kate puts her all into helping her students realize their own potential."

"Now it's my turn to get personal. Is it over for you both?" Portia looked around for the waitress hoping the food would arrive as she was beginning to feel the effects of drinking on an empty stomach.

Caroline instantly felt relieved that Portia knew and didn't seem judgmental. "I still hold out hope but it seems so. Whatever you do, don't make the mistake I did of hiding behind everyone else's needs and not pursuing what is important to you out of fear."

"I'm not sure I know what you mean."

"Well," she slowly began. She was relieved to be interrupted by the waitress arriving with their pizzas as she needed the time to get her answer together. After they each took a bite, Caroline continued. "I wasn't ready to be out and proud when I started seeing Kate. I hid my full feelings about her from my family under the guise of trying to break them into the situation slowly. Eventually she lost her patience with me and moved on."

"I'm really sorry Caroline. I watched my cousin, Cathy, struggle with coming out. I know from her it was a process that wasn't easy. How many years were you married?"

"Eighteen before I found out about John's affair. Imagine my surprise at finding myself single again. The only ones more surprised were my family when I brought Kate home. One minute John moved out to live with his girlfriend, the next he tried to come back. I said 'no' and I moved Kate in with me to get the point across to him that we were through. But then I treated her more like a roommate than a proper partner in front of my family. I wish I'd taken it slower with Kate and been more considerate of her feelings. Maybe we'd still be together."

"Well, at this point my family is braced for me to make an announcement about switching teams but I think it's a little premature as I'm not interested in any kind of a relationship. After 20 years of marriage I just need a break."

"Mind if I ask you about Gretchen?"

"Gretchen was my closest friend at university. We lost touch until a few years ago when we reconnected on Facebook. After her marriage failed, she came out and is now happily married to a great gal named Lila." She paused to take a sip of her water and then continued, "We were never more than friends but Clark has it in his head that we had a fling. Seb heard us arguing about it one night and Clarke played it up to obfuscate his bad behaviour."

"Sounds a bit below the belt."

"I think his ego was hurt because I didn't beg him to stay like I'd done every time before. But he's always been a dirty player. It's how he climbed over so many to get where he has at the bank."

"How's your pizza? Ready to try a slice of mine?"

"Excellent. Yes, let's trade." Caroline gave her a piece of her goat cheese and spinach pizza and took a slice of Portia's chicken and pesto pizza.

"Hmmm, nice pick. It pairs great with this red. So what's your plan going forward?"

"I just want to get Seb through graduation. Then we'll work on selling the house and getting divorced. I think I'm getting excited about having a second chance to find myself again." She paused to take another bite before continuing the conversation. "What's your plan for getting Kate back? Have you thought about telling her straight from your heart how you feel and what you'd do differently if she'd give you a second chance."

"I would if I had the opportunity to talk with her alone. She's done a good job of avoiding me at school. At least I have my mother's wedding to help plan with my step-sister. That'll be a good distraction." She thought about telling her about the baby but she'd already shared more than she would normally be comfortable discussing and realized it was getting pretty late.

"Your mother is getting married? How wonderful. But how old is she?"

"Mid-seventies. Actually, they eloped a couple of weeks ago but now want to have a wedding for everyone to celebrate. They have known each other since their school days and reconnected only a few months ago on Facebook. It's a long story and frankly it's getting late and there's not enough wine left in this bottle to tell it. But I'm happy for them."

"Any chance of inviting Kate to the wedding? Weddings are supposed to be good for inspiring romance."

"If only. Mum wasn't always supportive of our relationship. All I can do is pray for a Christmas miracle if I can't get through to Kate before then."

"Well, here's hoping then. What's say we get the bill and get going? I think I'm about to turn into a pumpkin too," said Portia.

They paid their bill and headed to their cars. "Thanks again for being there tonight. If I can ever return the favor, just let me know."

"I came to give you moral support but it seems like you've done the same for me. You're a great listener. Perhaps we can do this again sometime before the holidays," suggested Caroline.

"I'd like that. Good luck with Kate. Night."

"Hmmm. Thanks. Drive safely. Night."


	2. Chapter 2

Kate was alone in the faculty room getting a cup of tea early Monday morning when Michael Dobson entered. She hated the interruption as she liked being alone to prepare for the start of her day with the students.

"Kate, I was going to come looking for you after third period. How was your weekend," he inquired with a glint in his eye.

"Quiet. I worked on the nursery a bit and tried to catch up on some much needed rest. How was yours?" She scooped the tea bag out of her mug and discarded it in the bin. She wondered why he wanted to see her but was too leery of the answer to ask.

"Interesting. I went out Friday night after the school show and you'll never guess who I saw as I was heading home." He reached past her to grab the coffee pot to pour a cup.

"No clue." She squeezed a little honey onto a spoon and began stirring it into the hot liquid.

"Caroline." He said as he poured some creamer into his mug.

"That's not surprising, is it?" She took a sip to test the sweetness.

"Well it was a little before midnight and she wasn't alone."

"I don't care Michael. You know that's over for me." She set her cup down and reached for a napkin, trying to look disinterested.

"Well good on you then. I'm glad you're over her."

"How was the rest of your weekend?" Kate asked in an effort to change the subject.

"Pretty quiet. I slept in Saturday and then caught up on some of my marking after my hangover wore off," he said trying to impress her with his diligence about grading.

"I hope you didn't drive if you had a few. Please tell me you took a cab."

"Of course I didn't drink and drive. My mate drove. What do you take me for?"

"Just checking," Kate responded with a deadpan expression.

"For someone who caught up on her rest, you look pretty tired this morning. How are you feeling."

"I was good until you mentioned Caroline. Okay, I'll bite. Where did you see her and who was she with?"

"She was coming out of Lucia's with Seb Dixon's mother. Do you know her? She's one yummy mummy," Michael took his first sip and winced at how strong it was. "God who made this? It tastes more like diesel fuel than coffee."

"That's why I drink tea instead. Portia's lovely. Was her husband with her?"

"That's the thing. I overheard Seb in the lunch room the other week telling one of his buddies that his parents are getting divorced and that his mum is now into women," he paused to let the words hang there for dramatic effect.

Kate said nothing and just focused on stirring her tea. It didn't need stirring but gave her somewhere to look other than at Michael.

"When you were with Caroline did she say anything about being friends with Portia?"

"I don't really remember. We talked a little about Willow but that might have been the only Dixon we ever discussed. Why?"

"I'm just wondering if she's the reason the marriage broke up. Maybe they're an item now. Didn't take her long to move on, did it?" he volleyed.

"Well, it's none of our business but I can assure you Caroline would never break up a marriage," Kate shot back. She was beginning to lose her patience with him and with the conversation. "I'd better press on; the bell's about to ring. Ta." She said as she turned and quickly headed out the door. She couldn't get away from him fast enough. As she left the faculty room, she muttered quietly under her breath, "Michael Bloody Dobson indeed."

As the morning progressed, Kate found she couldn't get the thought of Caroline and Portia Dixon out of her mind. She wondered if Caroline had indeed moved on. It bothered her that it bothered her.

By lunchtime, she decided to send her mum an email about it. She knew Ginika checked her home email while enjoying her breakfast and she hoped she'd get a quick response.

Ginika didn't disappoint. Her measured response arrived within minutes.

 _Good morning my love._

S _ince I never met Caroline, I can't say whether I think she's in a new relationship already. But from what you've told me about her, I'd say it's highly unlikely. Perhaps she's just friends with her and it was all very innocent._

 _It sounds like Michael is just trying to stir up trouble. Didn't you say he threatened to expose her when you first confided in him about your relationship? I wouldn't trust him._

 _What I find curious is your interest in what she's doing. That makes me think that you still care about her. Are you sure you don't want to give her a second chance?_

 _One thing I do know is that if she's as wonderful as you say she was when things were going well between the two of you then someone else will eventually see that and one day, possibly very soon, she may be in another relationship and it will be too late for you if you change your mind._

 _I'm not telling you to give her another chance, I'm just suggesting that you think long and hard about what you want and not waste too much time deciding what to do about it if you do want to work on having a relationship with her._

 _I hate to think of you being alone and unhappy. If you want to talk, call me tonight before you go to bed. I've got to run now or I'll be late for my first class._

 _Love,_

 _Mum_

When the final bell of the day rang, Kate hurried out of school right behind the students. She needed as much distance from Sulgrave and Caroline as she could find. She was mentally exhausted from wondering about Portia Dixon and decided to head home so she had no chance of seeing Michael or Caroline until she had time to collect her thoughts.

Caroline looked up from her desk just in time to catch of glimpse of Kate getting into her Fiat. "Damn," she said out loud, followed by a long, deep sigh. Over the weekend she decided to take Portia's advice and try apologizing to Kate. She was about to head to Kate's classroom to see if she would talk with her.

Caroline had spent the better part of her Monday rehearsing in her head what she wanted to say. The hours seemed to tick by slower than usual and she got more nervous with each passing class period. She hadn't banked on Kate leaving earlier than normal and was more disappointed than ever at the thought of having to wait for another opportunity to apologize. She wondered if she had the intestinal fortitude to try talking with her the next day.


	3. Chapter 3

Beverly called out to Caroline, "That was Kate on the phone just now. Thought you'd want to know she's called in sick. Said she had a migraine." The always serious looking secretary stood to see Caroline's reaction. "She said it definitely has nothing to do with the baby."

"Did she say if she needs anything?" Caroline responded without making eye contact; she'd not slept much the night before and didn't want Beverly asking her why she looked so tired. She continued shuffling papers on her desktop.

"I did ask. She said she has everything she needs and planned to be in tomorrow. I'll go call for her sub now." As Beverly returned to her desk she heard Caroline mumble something unintelligible before audibly thanking her.

About a month prior Caroline requested that Beverly let her know if she learned Kate needed anything at any time. It happened one day when Caroline was feeling particularly low; Beverly caught her in a weak moment and she uncharacteristically opened up to her about her concerns for Kate going through the pregnancy alone in light of her miscarriages. Looking back now, she realized that Beverly had taken her request to heart.

As her day wore on, Caroline concluded she shouldn't give Kate the grand apology at work. She didn't want Kate to feel any more uncomfortable at school than she already did and risk her handing in another resignation letter.

Caroline spent the rest of the week trying to decide how and where to get some alone time with Kate to apologize. She couldn't think of a reason to just turn up at Kate's house; she didn't want to intrude there either. For a change, Caroline had a problem she couldn't seem to solve and it was slowly driving her mad.

At the end of the workday on Friday, Beverly darkened Caroline's door. "Well that's me done and dusted," she said as she looked at Caroline with mournful eyes. "You've been unusually quiet this week. Is everything okay?"

Caroline removed her reading glasses and rubbed her tired eyes. "Just a lot on my mind but thanks for asking," she replied. "What have you got on for tonight? Salsa dancing, Chippendales review or a trivia contest at your local perhaps?"

"Oh very funny. If only," she said with a laugh. "I'm thinking about a takeaway and a quiet night in front of the telly. You?"

"I've got a book I want to finish and I'm planning on an early night. Lawrence is going to John's tomorrow and then I'm off to look at wedding venues with Gillian." Caroline put her glasses back on.

"That sounds like fun," Beverly said as she mockingly rolled her eyes. Caroline smiled in response and then looked back at the open report on her desk. "See you Monday. Night Caroline." She guessed whatever was bothering Caroline had to do with Kate and wished there was something she could do to fix their relationship but she also knew it wasn't her place to meddle.

Shortly after Beverly left for the night, Caroline decided to do the same. Normally she found the weekends without Kate even worse than the weekdays. At least at school she had a chance to see her in assembly or in the hallways between classes. This week she didn't see her at all.

As she settled in for the night, she hoped her day out with Gillian would be more fun than she expected. Caroline was sad just thinking about going back to the charming hotel where she and Kate had their falling out but had an ulterior motive; she was hoping for a do-over at the wedding if she could get Kate to give her a second chance. She didn't reveal that part of her plan to Gillian but, even if she couldn't get Kate back, she knew it had a certain charm Celia would love.

* * *

Across town, Kate was in the middle of trying to write an email to Willow Dixon. She hoped that by reaching out to her she could gather some information about her mother without having to be too direct. She thought it was less risky than asking Beverly. Willow was always very open and often over-shared. Kate never minded in the past as she found it refreshing to interact with a student who was so enthusiastic about studying foreign languages; the vast majority of her students were only in her classes because they were required.

 _Dear Willow:_

 _Found myself sitting here thinking about you and thought I'd send you an email to see how you are doing. I imagine your classes are getting tougher now that you're in your second year. What are you studying? Have you tried that little café I told you about near your metro stop? It has the best onion soup and tartines_.

 _Would love to hear how things are going._

 _Kate_

Right after she hit the send button Kate felt guilty as it was not in her nature to be so underhanded or manipulative. She knew Willow wouldn't know she had an ulterior motive because it wasn't out of the norm for her to check in with her at least once a semester but she'd never done so out of anything but friendship before. What concerned her the most was that Willow would confirm Michael's gossip. But she just had to know.

She felt her heart pounding when she saw Willow's reply around noon the next day.

 _Kate:_

 _It was so great to hear from you. Classes are definitely harder than last year but I'm learning so much. My big news is that I'm trying to get an internship set up for this summer so I can stay in Paris over the break. My dream is to live and work here after graduation and if I could stay here this summer it would be so much more fun than coming home and going back to my job at the movie theater. Keep your fingers crossed for me._

 _Actually, I was going to email you to see how Seb is doing. Don't know if you've heard but it sounds like my parents are definitely getting divorced this time. I'm worried about him and how he's coping. When they've had their issues in the past I've always been there with him but this time he has no buffer. He says he hates dad's girlfriend and is hoping he dumps her and comes back to mum. But he thinks mum may be seeing someone too so it may be too late. I think he's really caught in the middle. Wish I were there to help him. How does he seem to you? I know he's in your class this semester as he's emailed me to help him a couple of times. I'd appreciate it if you would keep an eye on him for me._

 _Would love to see you when I get home for Christmas if you have time. I should be arriving around the 20th, right after my exa_ ms are over.

 _Thanks for the email and take care._

 _Willow_

Kate felt even more unsettled after reading the email than she did after Michael dropped the bombshell on her. Although Willow didn't say her mum was dating Caroline, she now feared it even more. How could she have moved on already? Didn't she know that Kate still had feelings for her?

She was still obsessing over it hours later when Lawrence called in a panic.


	4. Chapter 4

Lawrence seemed so young and vulnerable as he climbed into her Fiat. His inability to reach his mum on her mobile had him in a panic like Kate had never seen before.

"Thanks for the rescue Kate," Lawrence said as he threw his overnight bag in the back seat. "Judith's place is okay when they are there with me but it's a sketchy building when they're not. Dad disappeared to search for her hours ago. I didn't like being there after it got dark."

"It's fine," Kate responded. The whole time she was with Caroline, he seemed like a surly young man who was often too big for his britches. She suddenly saw him as the youngster he still was and realized he was more dependent on his mum than he wanted to admit or than she previously understood. She wanted to reach over and give him a hug but she was afraid he would pull away from her.

"Have you had any dinner?"

"There wasn't much in the apartment," he said without looking at her.

She turned the key and decided to pick up a pizza for him on the way back to her house. She figured that by the time he was finished eating they would hear from Caroline.

She sat with him while he ate. He tried to make small talk between bites and she fought every desire she had to ask him about Portia Dixon as she didn't want to pile on his woes for the day. Instead, she contented herself in the knowledge that Caroline was with Gillian, not Portia Dixon, when Lawrence couldn't reach her.

While she cleaned up his dishes, she marveled at the fact Lawrence took William's suggestion and called her. With that one call, Lawrence gave her hope that they could do more than just co-exist if she and Caroline were to reunite. Perhaps he was turning the corner to realize that she was there for him and he would respect her more.

Once Lawrence was settled in for the night, she tried to reach Caroline without success. She placed her mobile on the bed beside her pillow in case Caroline returned their calls during the night. She wished it were Caroline beside her instead. She longed to be in her arms and share her innermost thoughts and desires with her. She missed what they had when they were alone behind their bedroom door. She wondered if they would ever again have that closeness she longed for right down to her core. Her last thoughts before drifting off to sleep were how she hoped it wasn't too late to mend her relationship with Caroline and how perhaps she should talk with her about a second chance when she takes Lawrence home in the morning.

Neither Lawrence nor Kate could get through to Caroline when they woke so Kate agreed to take him back to Conway Drive after breakfast. He had a key and wanted to shower in his own bathroom. When Kate offered to stay with him until Caroline returned she thought he looked relieved.

To their mutual surprise, John opened the door when he heard the tires of the Fiat crunch on the driveway. Lawrence's anger at his father was almost as palpable as John's dismay at seeing he had been with Kate. John's closing the door almost in her face while he was on the phone with Caroline made it clear there was no room for her at Conway Drive if he was there.

She did a slow burn in the car all the way back to her house. Lawrence never turned around to thank her. John's presence made it clear he was still trying to get back into Caroline's graces. The stark reality she faced in those few minutes at that house was that nothing appeared to have really changed in Caroline's world during their time apart. The only thing she knew for sure at that moment was that despite how much she still loved Caroline, she wasn't ready to step back into that existence.

She pulled up in front of her house and unbuckled her seatbelt. Suddenly, she felt the baby kick for the first time; at least she thought it was the baby. She paused to question if it could have been gas or her nerves, but then the baby kicked again. The sensation was a swift reminder that the baby had to be factored into her decision about reconciling with Caroline. And at that moment, she believed that a second chance was a complete non-starter based upon the events of the past twelve hours.

She made a cup of tea and just as she was settling down into her favorite chair with her dog-eared copy of _What to Expect When You're Expecting,_ to see if it was indeed the baby she felt, her doorbell rang.

Her heart sank to her stomach the second she laid eyes on Caroline through her front door window. She was so stunned to see this woman who could quicken her pulse just by entering a room she barely knew what to say after their stilted greeting.

Given the events of the morning, she needed more time to decide if she could risk her heart on a second chance. She tried to end the conversation and close the door as quickly as possible. She almost had a clean get-away until Caroline asked if she could come in to talk. She numbly agreed while trying to steel herself to stay strong and just listen to whatever it was Caroline couldn't say on the doorstep.

She was moved by Caroline saying she would try harder and admitting she was rubbish at relationships; she needed the acknowledgment that Caroline could take some blame for her actions and inactions. But then the baby moved again and she instantly realized that despite all of the things Caroline did say, she failed to say the one thing she wanted and needed to hear the most—that she wanted the baby and would love her like her own. Perhaps if Caroline had made it clear that she understood the baby was now part of the equation and that she was delighted by it, Kate would have had less hesitation and would have opened her heart again.

She watched as the dejected blonde walked back to her Jeep with her head hung low. Seeing the sadness in her body language made her wonder if she had misjudged the situation. She regretted her negative response but was unable to will herself to call out to Caroline to comeback. Instead, she collapsed on the sofa and had what she came to call the biggest cry of her life.


	5. Chapter 5

"Enough. Enough." Caroline muttered to herself on the way back home. She pictured the flashcard scene from Love Actually in her head as she did so. Sadly, her declaration to Kate didn't even end with a kiss on the cheek like in the movie. She wanted more but would have settled for it. Instead, she was left empty handed and broken hearted. Again. She resolved then and there to try to move on. It was time to listen to her head rather than her heart from now on when it comes to Kate.

John's car was blissfully nowhere to be seen when she returned home. She found a note on the kitchen counter from Lawrence saying he went to Angus'. "Alone again," she pronounced out loud as she threw her keys on the counter. She got a glass of water and climbed the stairs to her bedroom. A nap was in order. Maybe it would help quiet the noise in her head and the pain in her heart.

Across town, Kate was writing an email to her mum.

 _Mum:_

 _Caroline just left. She came to thank me for taking in Lawrence overnight. I should have known I'd hear from her. As I told you earlier, the sight of John in control at that house just made my skin crawl. I don't think I can risk going back there despite realizing how much I want her in my life. I fear I'll never make it out with my heart intact if it doesn't work out again. She has too many people she seems to put before me. And I can't do that to the baby who I fear would come in last in her eyes._

 _It's time for me to move on without her I think. Wish you were here. I sure could use one of your perfect hugs right about now._

 _K_

* * *

Sleep eluded Caroline. The longer she tried to sleep, the louder her heart seemed to thump. She reached into her nightstand drawer, pulled out her blister pack of paracetamol and took her second dose of the day, draining the last of the glass of water in the process. She gave it some time to take effect. About a half hour later she gave up on trying to sleep and went in search of something to occupy her tired brain. In the process, she discovered a message from Portia on her answering machine asking for a return call.

"Hello."

"Hi Portia. It's Caroline. I'm sorry, I just got your message," she said while straightening the pile of papers beside the house phone.

"It's fine. I just fancied a drink last night and wondered if you were free. It was all very last minute. When you didn't call back I remembered you were going to look at wedding venues. How did it go?"

"Fine. Fine. We have a place and we have a date. Christmas Eve." She intentionally omitted the details about the hotel.

"Then it sounds like your day was a success."

"Hmmm. Yes. Are you free tonight? I think I could use some of your moral support again."

"I'm sorry but I can't. I have a prior engagement but I have time now if you fancy a chat." Caroline was relieved to be turned down. She wasn't sure she could face another glass of wine after the night before.

"Well, I went round to Kate's this aft. Long story but I decided that since I was there I would try apologizing and asking for that second chance."

"Wow. Judging by the sound of your voice, I take it that it didn't go so well."

"Correct. She turned me down flat. No discussion. No hint of interest. Just a resounding 'no'."

"I'm so sorry. Having seen the two of you together at Sulgrave I just can't believe it's completely over."

"She couldn't have been more clear. I guess it's time for me to blow out the torch and move on."

"Well, it would appear that the only thing left is to wish for that Christmas miracle. I'm so sorry Caroline."

"Yeah, me too. How are things on your end?" Caroline collapsed on a stool at the counter. She was hoping Portia would have better advice about what to do next than the last time.

"Good. I'm meeting someone I know from my gym for drinks tonight. I can't believe that after all these years of marriage I'm dating again."

"Well good for you. Someone you just met or someone you've known?"

"His name's Arthur. He's a personal trainer who's been flirting with me for a couple of months. He texts and emails all the time. The scandalous part is that he's quite a bit younger than me. Never fancied myself a cougar but I'm starting to think that it's time to walk on the wild side for a bit."

"Ha. That just might shock your lot as much as it would have had you switched teams. Does Seb know?"

"I think he suspects something as he's been snooping around for weeks but I'm meeting Art rather than having him pick me up. I figure it's best to not be too in his face about it for a bit."

"Well good luck and let me know how it goes."

"Will do. Bye Caroline."

"Bye Portia."

* * *

As the weeks clicked down to the Christmas season, Caroline threw herself into her work. She tried to stay so busy that she didn't have time to think about Kate. It worked pretty well during the day, but at night, after the lights were out and she was alone with her thoughts, all she could think about was Kate and the baby. She had come to worry about the baby as much as she did about Kate. She hated that she had to go through the pregnancy alone but couldn't think of anything she could do to help her without tipping her hand that she still held out hope.

Then one day, just after the start of finals, Beverly told her Kate had driven herself to the hospital because she was bleeding. Without thinking, Caroline flew to her side. Sitting in the waiting room, they had their first non-work related conversation since Kate refused Caroline's heartfelt request for a second chance.

She was relieved all was well with the baby and was overwhelmed at the sight of her on the monitor. Holding Kate's hand as they learned together that Kate was having a daughter was like a dream come true. She had fantasized about being in these appointments with Kate a million times. Suddenly, she was there but not in the way she wanted to be. She believed Kate had only grabbed her hand out of fear and she felt an overwhelming grief wash over her when Kate dropped it and placed her own on her baby bump. Caroline wanted to put her hand over Kate's and feel the baby but knew any further physical contact between them was taboo.

"Thanks for letting me come in to the exam, Kate. I'm glad I got to see your beautiful daughter on the monitor and I'm glad everything is fine." Caroline said, swallowing the words she really wanted to say as they made their way out to the car park. She fiddled with the keys in her hands to keep herself from pulling Kate into a hug as they reached the Fiat.

"You didn't need to come but I appreciate your being here. Think I'll go home and put my feet up until Monday. Enjoy your weekend and thanks again," she said with the smallest trace of a smile as she climbed into her car.

"If you need anything this weekend, just call. Night," Caroline responded. She turned to head to her car, fighting her desire to turn around for a final glimpse of her. She desperately wanted to say that she'd always be there for her, that she loved the baby and would do anything to be with them, but didn't because she couldn't risk another rejection.

Kate dropped her bag just inside the front door and headed to the kitchen for a snack. While looking through her fridge, she remembered she was supposed to meet Willow for breakfast the next day. She felt particularly shaky about Caroline's presence at the hospital as well as her pregnancy at the moment. It felt so wonderful to have her support there and it made her long for her all the more. In an effort to push those feelings aside, she decided to call Willow.

"Hi Willow. It's Kate. "

"Kate! Hi. What's up?"

"I need to cancel for tomorrow. I'm feeling a little under the weather."

"No worries. I heard from Seb you're pregnant. Is it morning sickness?"

"Ha. No. That ended months ago but I think I just need to rest. Perhaps we can get together after Christmas," she said to soften the rejection. "Does it feel good to be home?"

"To be honest, no. Seb confirmed that Mum is seeing someone and has been secretly for months. Both Seb and Dad are being complete prats about it. Double standard all the way around. Dad can have a girlfriend but Mum can't. It's ridiculous."

Kate's heart sank. She didn't want to know if she was dating Caroline, but after she had been so lovely to her all afternoon, she had to ask. "Did you say your mum has a girlfriend?"

"Oh, no. No. I meant boyfriend. Sorry. She's seeing some guy named Art she met at the gym. It's been going on for a while apparently. I think Seb and Dad are really just pissed because he's a little younger than her."

"So how do you feel about it?" Kate let out a huge sigh of relief and settled in for a longer chat than she intended when she rang. Suddenly, she was feeling better.

* * *

By the time Celia's wedding day arrived, Kate was a nervous wreck about being around Caroline's entire family again but was curious to finally meet the infamous Gillian and her crew. Kate had steeled herself to see Caroline. Since hearing she wasn't dating Portia, she couldn't stop fantasizing about being with Caroline again.

Prior to and since her bleed, the two of them had managed to orbit around each other at school without colliding. She assumed the same would happen at the wedding. But then she noticed Caroline looking at her during both the wedding and the reception. Kate was dismayed Caroline hadn't approached her but didn't have the nerve to do so either, until it was time to say good night.

As soon as she was behind the wheel and on the main road heading home, Kate let the tears fall freely. She rushed from the reception without glancing back at Caroline. She couldn't risk looking into her eyes again for fear she would fall apart on the spot.

The miles clicked by as Kate started to make a mental list of all the things she assumed about Caroline that in hindsight now didn't appear to be correct. She had clearly misread so many signs. _She took the distance Caroline put between them to mean she was over her. She wasn't dating Portia Dixon. She hadn't taken John back. She had put Kate and the baby before her work and before anyone else that day at the hospital when Kate really needed her. Perhaps she did want Kate back but wasn't willing to ask again after how Kate turned her down the last time._ With each newfound realization, her desire to be with Caroline grew. The instant she walked into her empty house she knew what she not only wanted but needed to do. She quickly climbed back into her car and raced back to the hotel, hoping that Caroline hadn't left the reception after she did. All she wanted was to be back in Caroline's arms.

As she drove through the night, she said a little prayer that it wasn't too late for the Christmas miracle she had been longing for the past few months.


	6. Chapter 6

As the Roberta Flack song was ending, Kate and Caroline hugged as tightly as Kate's baby bump would allow. They both suddenly became aware of their surroundings. Caroline noticed the centerpiece candle on a nearby table flickering wildly as its short wick was drowning in all the melted wax. It was one of the signs throughout the enchanted room that the party was drawing to a close. Kate instantly worried that Caroline would pull away, embarrassed to have let her feelings show in a room full of her friends and family but that fear quickly vanished when Caroline whispered in her ear, "I think the reception is winding down. Does our 'forever' start now? Are you staying?" Kate was relieved Caroline showed no hesitation in their retiring upstairs together.

"If you'll have me." Kate said as she noticed how the fairy lights sparkling in all the nooks and crannies of the room seemed to be reflected in Caroline's eyes at that moment.

"I made the mistake of letting you walk out of here once before. I won't ever make that mistake again," said Caroline who suddenly felt breathless from the growing level of excitement she was finding difficult to contain. They dropped their embrace and Caroline took Kate's right hand in her left hand to lead her off the dance floor.

After about her third step, the DJ started playing _The Nearness of You_ by Norah Jones. Caroline quickly turned back to Kate and pulled her back into her arms to resume their position on the dance floor. "But this is…" Caroline said as she struggled to get the words out over her emotions. "How…when…did you?"

They started dancing again as Kate, who was also full of emotions the song evoked, shook her head. "Not me. Bet it was Ted." Kate spun Caroline around so they could see Ted perched at his table watching them intently with a broad smile. He gave them a wink and blew them a kiss.

"But how did he know?" asked Caroline.

"During dinner he asked if I had a favorite song," she began to explain as she swallowed hard to move the growing lump in her throat. "This song was all I could think to say as I was remembering that night."

"So you were thinking...about me?" Caroline stated as she pulled back to look in Kate's eyes.

Kate drew her back in, holding her closely so she could rest her head on Caroline's shoulder. She moved her right hand sensuously low down Caroline's back, coming to rest where one of her favorite curves on the blond began. "I haven't stopped thinking about you. Wanting you. All this time. I know I told you that you blew it but did I too. I'm so sorry Caroline."

"Shhh. So am I but we can talk about it all later. Tonight's not a night for talking," Caroline whispered as she roamed her hands over Kate's back. In a sultry tone she cooed, "Just tell me you forgive me because I'll do anything for you."

Kate wordlessly leaned in for another prolonged kiss that was more tender than their first of the evening.

"Can I take that as a yes?" asked a hopeful Caroline as they came up for air.

"You said tonight's not about talking so..." replied Kate playfully while nodding her head yes.

As the song was ending, Kate said, "How do we negotiate our way out of here? There are more people watching us I don't know than I realized." She was suddenly feeling very self-conscious.

"Let's make our way around the room and I'll introduce you as we say our goodnights at the same time."

"Who are you and what have you done with my girlfriend?"

"Think of it this way, it will make it a little easier to have breakfast with them if we get the introductions out of the way tonight," Caroline chided as she added a wink for good measure. "Come on, I know where we should start."

"Aunt Muriel, I don't think you've met Kate. We've been seeing each other on and off since John left."

"Your mother said…well...it doesn't matter," she stammered. Then, with a grin like a fox at the entrance to the hen house, Muriel said, "Kate, it's nice to meet you. Your music during the ceremony was delightful."

Without batting an eye at the mention of Celia's name, Kate gave her a warm smile. "Those are fun pieces. I'm glad you enjoyed them."

"We're just doing the rounds to say goodnight to everyone. We'll see you in the morning," Caroline said in an effort to curtail the conversation with Muriel. She knew it was just a matter of time before she would be the topic of conversation between Muriel and Celia and she cringed a little at the thought of the inevitable fallout from her Mum.

Kate and Caroline wove their way around the room and the mercifully thinning crowd, side-stepping servers picking up abandoned drink glasses from the tables along the way.

"I assume that last song was your doing Ted," Kate commented when they reached his table.

"Seeing you two made me smile so I just wanted to return the favor. You make a stunning couple. Will I see you both at breakfast?"

"I never miss a meal thanks to my little bump here," she said as she caressed her tummy with pride. "See you in the morning."

"Night Ted," Caroline said with a broad smile. She squeezed his shoulder for good measure as it had dawned on her he was as supportive as Alan; she wondered why they were so open-minded when her Mum wasn't.

Even in their haste to be alone, they remembered to pickup Kate's sweater as they made their way to Celia and Alan who were by the door seeing off some other guests. Kate gave Caroline's hand a supportive squeeze as they stopped in front of the newlyweds.

"Caroline. That was quite a show. I thought you both knew to be more discreet," Celia began. But before she could say anything more, Caroline interrupted her.

"Mum, I think you should know that if Kate's willing to give me a second chance, I'm done hiding. I love her and the baby beyond measure." Kate's expression swelled with pride at that moment.

"Don't get me wrong. I'd be disappointed if you behaved that way with John. But, judging by the smiles on your faces, I guess I'll have to learn to live with that. I was surprised you came back Kate, but for my daughter's sake, I'm glad you did."

Before Kate could respond, Alan chimed in, "Whatever you say, dear. Thank you again for the beautiful music today Kate."

"Alan, I think we all know your piece was the best performance of the day," Kate responded.

"Well, I think Caroline's speech was the best of them all though. Thank you for all you've done to make today so special," Alan said to Caroline through a yawn he tried to hide. "I don't know about anyone else but I'm ready to turn in. Shall we Mrs. Buttershaw?"

"Yes. Let's go before I have to talk with Muriel again. I don't think I'm up for _that_ conversation tonight," Celia said to Alan as she leaned over to kiss Caroline's cheek. She whispered in her ear, "I do love you you know."

"I know Mum. Good night Mr. and Mrs. Buttershaw." With that, Caroline took Kate's hand and led her to the lift.

When they entered their room, Caroline's eyes instantly fell on Kate's overnight bag. William had brought it from her car and set it by the dresser just minutes earlier. She smiled to herself as she pondered exactly when Kate might have packed it but didn't ask as she then noticed an unopened bottle of champagne and a note from William. Caroline picked up the note and held it at arms length since she didn't have her reading glasses.

 _Lifted this from the reception for you. Hope you don't mind. We'll take the Jeep and see you at home tomorrow. No need to rush back. We'll get the dinner started so the roast will be ready mid afternoon. You two should enjoy a late check-out. Happy Christmas._

After moving her bag to a nearby chair, Kate came up behind Caroline and wrapped her arms around her waist so she could look over her shoulder to read it as well. When she finished, she kissed the side of Caroline's neck, just below her right earlobe. "I've always loved William. He's got all the best bits of you, just like I hope our daughter will."

Caroline turned around to face Kate, being careful not to knock into her baby bump. As she did she saw Kate smiling at her. She reached her hand out for the first time to caress Kate's precious cargo. As if on cue, the baby moved under her hand. She'd longed to make this connection for months; her need to do so since the scan had nearly done her in and the sensation sent her over the moon.

Kate noticed Caroline's eyes starting to mist over. She covered Caroline's hand with one of hers and raised her other one to wipe away Caroline's tears. "No tears tonight Caroline."

Caroline leaned in for a kiss and without any more words from either of them they quickly ended up under the covers, luggage and champagne equally abandoned in the process.

Kate spoke first. "That was...magnificent. I didn't want it to end but it's been a long day and I'm afraid I need more sleep at this stage of my pregnancy. I wish I had more stamina but…" Caroline gave her a gentle kiss on her forehead, and closed her arms around Kate's frame. "I remember the fatigue of this phase. Just let me hold you as you drift off to sleep. It's okay, we have forever."

Caroline was too excited to fall asleep right away despite her own physical and emotional exhaustion. It hadn't just been a long day, it had been a long couple of months. She believed that they had found forgiveness and the healing process had begun. Contented for the first time in months, she reveled in the feel of Kate beside her and the sound of her rhythmic breathing. Sleep finally claimed her while she was making a mental list of all the things she wanted to express to Kate when they finally settled in for their discussion.

A few short hours later, Caroline woke when she felt Kate starting to stir. The pale moon had faded and the early morning sunlight was beginning to peep through their bedroom window. Caroline smiled at the promise the new day held for them. She felt complete for the first time in months but still had trouble believing she actually got her second chance and Christmas miracle.

"Can I tell you how happy I am to wake beside you and realize last night wasn't a dream?" Caroline said in a husky voice as she shifted closer to Kate and kissed her exposed shoulder in the process. As she pressed into her, she started to rub her right foot against Kate's, willing Kate to validate her happiness.

"Hmmm. Last night was like a dream, wasn't it? I don't know what I would have done had you left the reception before I returned." Kate rolled over to make more contact with the full length of Caroline's body, longing to be as close to her as possible.

Glancing at the clock on the nightstand as she drew Kate into deeper into arms, Caroline said, "There's good news and bad news. The bad news is that it's too early to head down to breakfast if you're starved."

"I think I can guess the good news then. That means we get to linger here a little longer then right?" Kate responded as she quietly started to hum the refrains from the last song of the evening.

"You're so clever." Caroline drew Kate into their first kiss of the day. She realized Kate felt a little cool to the touch. "Are you warm enough? I can grab another blanket."

"I'm a little cold but I'd rather you warm me up."


	7. Chapter 7

It was just past midnight when the fiancés were curled up in bed enjoying the afterglow and their new status. They were in the middle of the bed with Kate lying on her right side, in Caroline's arms, nuzzled into her left collarbone which gave her access to kiss her intended's neck and drink in the faint traces of her perfume.

She was thinking about how she couldn't wait to call her mum with the news in the morning. While she enjoyed the fact that she and Caroline were the only two who knew of their engagement, she felt that if she didn't get to tell somebody soon it wouldn't feel real.

Caroline was strumming her fingertips up and down the length of Kate's left arm, reveling in the growing belief that Kate was really hers and didn't intend to pull away from her again, when suddenly she was overcome with remorse. Her heart started racing a bit as she thought about what she should have said to Kate when she proposed but didn't. She felt clumsy and awkward, as usual, when it came to matters of her heart. She wanted nothing more than to fully confess her love for Kate but had trouble finding the words. She guessed it was from years of watching her parents never express love for each other; they only verbalized contempt and disappointment at every turn. In the last few years with John, their discussions revolved around work, the boys and their schedules, never anything personal or sentimental. She knew in hindsight that they had grown lazy in their relationship and taken each other for granted.

She acknowledged to herself that she never felt for John even a tenth of what she does for Kate. Caroline didn't want to fall into that same pattern with Kate; she deserved to hear how much she was loved on a regular basis. She felt an overwhelming need to tell her not only what was on her mind but what was in her heart right there and then. But could she do it without crying and what if Kate wasn't at the same depth of love?

"Kate, you know earlier, when I proposed?" Caroline softly began.

"Yes," she replied with a smile in her voice. The proposal took her completely by surprise and left her feeling like she was on cloud nine. "It's a moment I'll never forget."

"There's more I wanted to say but I was too nervous. I fear I didn't really get it right."

"Oh, Caroline. You proposed. You proposed and it doesn't matter what you said or how you said it. You asked me to share your future with you, to show the world we're a real and permanent family. That's what was perfect and frankly all that matters," she said as she pulled herself away from Caroline's arms and sat up to look down into her soft eyes. Even in the darkness of their bedroom they seemed to sparkle. She stroked her cheek and leaned in for about the hundredth searing kiss of the night.

As it ended, Caroline found her nerve and sat up so she could look squarely into Kate's face, taking her left hand in her right one. "I know I said that I wanted to make it official with the baby coming due, but it's more than that, although that's the party line I'll use when I see my mum's and Lawrence's long faces when we tell them our news."

"Caroline, you don't have to…I know it's hard for you to…"

Caroline cut her off at the pass. "You're right. I have trouble expressing how I feel but you deserve to hear the words." Kate noticed the emotion catching in Caroline's voice and tried to rescue her with another kiss.

"It's alright Caroline. You've shown me every day since Christmas how you feel. You're so different. Even just necking on the sofa like we did tonight is something you would never have done so openly before. You've really come through on your promise to…" This time it was Caroline who interrupted her with a kiss.

"Kate, I wasn't just happy when you came back at Christmas. I was ecstatic. I could have done cartwheels down the high street. I felt like I won the nationally lottery. During those months apart I tried to really look at my behavior through your eyes and realized I never made you feel like you were as special to me as you are, but I should have done, every day. I'm sorry that…"

"Oh, Caroline. I think our time apart helped me understand how much you were struggling with living in the open with me and I should have been more patient and understanding."

"I don't deserve you and I'm so grateful for this second chance to...I love you so deeply that…" she reached over to pull a tissue out of the box on the nightstand.

Kate reached over and stroked her hair, a little choked up herself at seeing how overwhelmed Caroline was becoming. In an effort to rescue Caroline, Kate confessed, "I think I fell in love with you the moment I saw you and I've been in love with you ever since. That will never change."

"Oh, Kate. I wish I could say what I feel with the same ease you can. I'm working on it but all I know is that my life doesn't make sense without you and I can't bear the thought of ever being without you again. It may sound trite but I don't think I ever really knew what love was until you came along. I feel like a Cinderella who was awoken from a dreamless slumber by your kiss. I want to share all that I have with you and our daughter. You will both be my first thought every morning and my last thought every night and the reason for all I do in between. I can't wait until I can call you my wife."

Caroline used her tissue to wipe the tears that were beginning to run down Kate's face. "Wow. A proposal and the most amazing expression of love I think I've ever heard all in the same night. You really are a romantic and you underestimate yourself."

Their next kiss turned into too many to count as they turned their attentions to further expressing their love for each other without words. As they came back down from their lovemaking, Caroline teased Kate, "If I knew that my being more expressive would be rewarded like that…"

"Let's just say that if you keep it up your days of kissing frogs like John are over Cinderella," Kate teased her in return.


	8. Chapter 8

Caroline called home shortly after Angus and Lawrence left her office. Her tone fluctuated between anger and disbelief at Seb Dixon's actions as she explained to Kate what transpired in the hall after the lunch period.

"I thought he was all sorted after I spoke with his parents a few months ago. I just don't understand why now and why Lawrence. I can't make allowances for him this time," she sputtered.

"I just don't understand. Willow's so open-minded and accepting. You think he'd be the same. She doesn't have an unkind bone in her body but that was just cruel. So what will you do about him this time?" Kate inquired.

"I'll let the deputy head decide. Since it involved Lawrence, I have to be out of it. It wouldn't even be right for me to discuss this with Portia, much as I'd like to."

"How's Lawrence?"

"Angry. Quiet. He seems embarrassed that we're marrying to begin with and this just isn't going to help him accept things," Caroline said apologetically. She was able to control so much in her universe but Lawrence's brooding and sullen attitude toward her and Kate wasn't one of the things she could control.

She heard the bell ring. "Well, that's my cue. I have to go meet with the department heads. I'll bring a take-away home tonight. I'll let Lawrence decide unless you have a preference."

"That would be grand. Let him choose. I just finished painting the baby's room and am a little knackered. Think I'll go have a lie down."

"If I find you still sleeping when I get home, which I hope I do, I'll wake you with a kiss Cinderella," Caroline promised.

* * *

"Portia's on the phone," Kate called out to Caroline as she entered the kitchen in search of more newspapers. She hadn't heard the phone as she was struggling to start a fire since the wood was a little wet from yesterday's rain. Kate was just finishing up making them some hot chocolate. Caroline made a face to show Kate how much she dreaded the impending conversation as she picked up the phone.

"Hello," she said and waited to hear what her friend had to say.

'Caroline. Thanks for taking my call. I can't imagine what you're feeling tonight but I'm so sorry," she began.

"Portia, I'm not sure we should be talking about this. It's up to Mr. Harrison to handle this situation."

"I get that but I wanted to talk to you mum to mum. What Sebastian did was inexcusable and he should be punished. I'm not asking for you to intercede on his behalf. I only wanted to apologize. None of you deserved that. I'm so thrilled for you and Kate and I hate the thought of this ruining what should be a really special time for you. I'm afraid though that it could be partly my fault."

"I don't understand."

"He overheard me talking with Gretchen about you and Kate getting a second chance and how I wanted one too. He thought I meant with you but I really meant with Arthur. He dumped me for a younger woman at the gym just before Valentine's Day. Seb's still so dubious about my status thanks to Clark's manipulations. I'm so sorry."

"He thought you and me?"

"Yes. He confessed to me tonight that he was trying to hurt Lawrence because he thought you had hurt me. It doesn't make any sense to me either but apparently he overheard Mr. Dobson telling the gym teacher he saw us on a date that night we grabbed some pizza after the school play. He thought Art, who he never met, was just a cover story."

"You've got to be joking. Michael Bloody Dobson strikes again. I don't believe it," said Caroline so loudly that Portia had to hold the phone away from her ear to avoid her eardrum being shattered. "Wait until I tell Kate."

"I'm so sorry Caroline. I hope it won't hurt our friendship. We're dealing with Seb and he will make amends for his behaviour somehow."

"I get it that kids lash out. At least now I understand a little better. Thanks for your call. I appreciate it," she said in a hurry to ring off before she let anything further fly out of her mouth about Michael.

"Kate, can you believe that ass?" Caroline looked like she could have murdered him had he been within striking range as she hung up the phone.

Kate set a mug of hot chocolate in front of her and gingerly ventured, "What did Michael do now?" She walked to the refrigerator to pull out a can of whipped cream and headed back to stand across the counter from Caroline. She had spent the last two hours trying to calm Caroline down and feared this one phone call had stirred her up again.

"Apparently Michael was spreading a rumor that I was dating Portia and it got back to Seb. God what an ass! I wonder who else he told."

"Well," Kate sheepishly began. "He tried to tell me you were dating as he saw the two of you coming out of Lucia's pretty late one night." She cringed as she waited for Caroline to start yelling again.

"He did? How…I wasn't. We're just friends." Caroline looked at the mug of chocolate and thought for a moment about switching it out for another glass of wine but then she noticed the whipped cream in Kate's hand.

"I know that now, but if I'm honest, the thought that you might be dating again made me jealous enough to start thinking about asking you for a second chance. It put me in a bit of panic as it made me realize I could lose you to someone else if I wasn't careful. How about we take our mugs into the living room to enjoy the fire?"

Caroline seemed much calmer than Kate expected and wondered if Caroline was processing whether to be angry at her as well as she had an inscrutable look on her face. She held the whipped cream over Caroline's mug and asked her if she wanted some in an effort to break Caroline's train of thought.

"Hmmm. The fire didn't take. I was coming in for more newspaper to help get it going. Why don't we take our drinks and the whipped cream upstairs instead and I'll remind you that I'm yours and only yours?"


	9. Chapter 9

The morning after the wedding, Caroline and Kate were curled up in their bed, enjoying a well-deserved lie in. They were in their pajamas since Angus and Lawrence were in the house. After catching up on her emails, Caroline started discussing what they had to do versus what she wanted to do with their day.

"I know I said I had some work to do but I don't think anyone would blame me for not touching it. I'd rather spend my day touching you. Why don't we take William to the train station together and then go for a late brunch?"

"Oooo. I like the sound of that," Kate said putting down her reader. "Perhaps we can make a fast sweep through the grocery store on the way back. But what about Lawrence?"

"I had an email from Angus' mum offering to have him stay overnight and promising to make sure he finishes his home work. She said she felt bad Angus stayed here last night even though we offered. I think it made things a little easier on Lawrence yesterday. I don't think he's really over what Seb did to him yet."

"I agree. It's like one step forward two steps back with him some days. You mean we'll have the house to ourselves tonight?"

"Don't know. Mum's car was gone early this morning. I don't know if she went to Gillian's and if she's coming back. Frankly, at this moment I really don't care. All I know is I just want to spend today with you," she said rolling on her side to curl into Kate for a cuddle.

Kate wrapped her arms around her wife and lazily began to stroke her hair in response. "I thought we promised last night to try not to discuss Celia for a bit. I know we couldn't get away for a honeymoon but let's take a mental vacation from her at least for today. Maybe a little distance will help you decide what you want to do about her."

"Deal. How did I get so lucky to have such a smart wife? I bet you're so smart you even know what I'm thinking right now, don't you?"

* * *

After a romantic brunch that involved more staring into each other's eyes than talking, Kate reminded her wife to stop by the store so they could pick up some milk and a few staples. The boys finished the last of the eggs and bacon that morning and Kate wanted more so she could serve Caroline a special breakfast in bed the following day. She figured that if the baby had her up early she could make the most of the time while Caroline slept.

Upon entering the produce section, Kate noticed Michael Dobson looking at the melons. She spotted him while Caroline was fighting to liberate a cart from the line of them by the entrance.

When Caroline eventually caught up to her she said, "Don't look now but Michael's over there and I think he's noticed us. Promise me you won't make a scene Caroline."

"Anything for you my love. But I will find the right time and place to…Hi Michael," she said without a smile as he slithered over to them.

"Ladies. Fancy seeing you here today. I thought you'd be away on a little honeymoon somewhere. I hope everything's alright and that the wedding went smoothly yesterday."

Kate squeezed Caroline's hand as she knew she caught the subtext to his remark. "It was about as perfect as perfect could be, thanks for asking," replied Kate who was beaming.

"Yep, it was wonderful to be surrounded by our just friends and family who truly support us," Caroline replied with her own not so subtle hidden meaning. For Kate's sake she was doing her best to ignore his attempts to get a rise out of her. She smiled as she noticed him looking at their clasped hands. She held up Kate's left hand for his benefit and asked, "Like our new rings?"

"Very nice." He was disappointed he didn't seem to be able to rattle her. "I wish you both nothing but happiness. I'd better go. I have a few more things to pick up and I don't want to be late for…an engagement," he said as he headed toward the front of the store without waiting for their reply.

Kate turned to face Caroline. "Thank you for keeping your composure. What a bloody ass."

"I promised you that today I wouldn't focus on my mum but I've just decided to add Michael to that promise. Today's about celebrating us. I'll find a way to deal with him later."

Kate tilted her head to look into her eyes while giving her hand a squeeze before she let it go to pick up a carton of strawberries. She held the container to her nose to see if they were ripe and then placed them in the cart.

"Have I told you in the last five minutes how much I love you?" Kate said as she led Caroline toward the dairy section.

Mercifully, Michael was nowhere to be seen as they rounded the last aisle and headed to the cashier. When they walked out of the store, they noticed a small crowd gathered near the street corner. Kate stopped a lady who was heading toward them from the direction of the crowd and asked what happened.

"Some poor bloke tried crossing against the light and a kid driving too fast ran him over. I didn't see it but one of the guys over there said he saw the whole thing and he didn't stand a chance. If I were you, I wouldn't look as it's not a pretty sight."

"Caroline, you don't think that it could be Michael do you? He said he was in a hurry."

"I was just wondering the same thing. Let's get you and the groceries in the car and then I'll go check," she suggested. "I know he pisses me off but I certainly hope it's not him."

"Well?" Kate was behind the wheel with the engine running. She was anxious to get home as she the baby was sitting on her bladder so pulled out of the car park as soon as Caroline buckled her safety belt.

"Not him. Thank God," she said, letting out a deep sigh of relief. After a few beats, a mischievous smile crossed her face. "Ready to go resume our honeymoon?"

"Hmmm. I thought you'd never ask," Kate replied as stopped for a traffic light. She took the short break as an opportunity to clasp Caroline's right hand. She marveled at how it seemed to be tailor made to fit into her own. As if she were reading her thoughts, Caroline kissed the back of Kate's hand and laid her head back against the headrest with her eyes closed.

"Penny for them."

"I was just thinking about how fragile and cruel life can be. Maybe it's that you gave me a second chance and I finally have everything I ever wanted that I feel guilty that somewhere someone is waiting for that poor guy to come home and he never will again."

"I guess that's why they say we need to make the most of everyday."

"Carpe Diem. The year William turned thirteen he walked around saying 'Carpe Diem' endlessly. He was fascinated by all things Robin Williams that year and he picked it up from watching The Dead Poet's Society," Caroline said with a smile. "At least it was better than when he kept saying 'Na Nu Na Nu'."

Kate chuckled. "I can't imagine serious William ever saying "Na Nu Na Nu. Lawrence yes, but not him. I wish I'd known him back then. Actually, I wish I'd known you back then. God, what I wouldn't give to have seen you when you were pregnant. I'll bet you were glowing."

"Ha! I never felt like I was glowing, not like you do anyway," she said grinning at the memory of how radiant Kate looked while she said her vows. Then her mind suddenly veered to Celia's absence.

"Kate, can I talk about my mum for a minute? Can I break my promise?"

"You, my love, can do anything you wish. What is it?"

"I think that tomorrow I should tell her I forgive her for not coming yesterday even if she won't admit she was wrong for staying home with Lawrence. She and Alan aren't getting any younger and I'd hate to have something happen to them before this gets resolved. I guess seeing that accident put it into perspective for me. I also need to apologize to Alan for taking my anger at her out on him. He didn't deserve it. He's always been more than supportive and heaven knows he can't have it easy with Mum at him about Gary right now."

"What a relief. I was so hoping this could be resolved before our daughter is born. I have I told you in the last five minutes how much I love you Caroline?"

"Hmmm. That's just what I was about to say."


End file.
